in which Miniature Robots attack Solaris Movie and Stanislaw Lem Eats Raw Soderbergh

We all know the story. A psychologist played by Steven Soderbergh is sent to a space station orbiting the ocean world known as Solaris. A tragedy has befallen the mission's members, such as James Cameron. These surviving members are strange and withdrawn, and when the psychologist begins to see things that simply can't be happening, he suspects that the ocean on the world below, played by the reanimated corpse of Stanislaw Lem, considered to be alive and intelligent, is behind the manifestations. However, the dead wife of Soderbergh returns as an avenging army of reanimated movie sequals and puns, set to destory the vast culture of the near-death planet Solaris. Critical perspectives threaten the aura of Solaris in a new context as microtechnology lasers attack. Just as all seems lost, Stanislaw Lem rises up as the intelligent ocean and starts dismantling the set. In the end, he marries the dead wife to critical perspectives and presides over the wedding party as the chaplin. catch-22? perhaps. Either way, progress is good, two legs is bad. Andrei Tarkovsky and Fridrikh Gorenshtein, earlier sovietsky daemons of the 24 fps, and heirs to the Dovchenko filmic style of the 20 minute slow pan, might find the upcoming remake a bit too fast to capture any actual psychology and fear, but theyll probably be so distracted by the special effects and handsome actors and actresses to care. After all, Russia is on our side now, proving the anti-Lem equation bigger is better. Inside the vast cultural shift america undergoes as we start believing more and more in miniaturization and letting the little things in the world do all our work, its better to be on the side of the bigger and better than the smaller and more efficient. But this is all just conservative-romantic retrospection... when it comes right down to it, Stanislaw Lem is one disembodied brain to be seriously reckoned with. When we meet him on the other side of the veil, well bring along an infinite supply of baklava and a small silver spoon. We hope the stories in this issue do some justice to his greatness. All Praise!